It's my 21st birthday. I feel very old
I'm very single, I'm recently squatting at my parents house, and I'm just barely figuring myself out.
But I feel like I've gained little lessons after graduating high school. So I thought I'd share them:
My 21 lessons I've learned after turning 21.
1. It's okay to sit at home.
I can't tell you how many nights I sat in my apartment, realizing I have absolutely nowhere to be, and honestly having no desire to be anywhere. You aren't a loser if you pull up movie you've been dying to watch, put on your favorite face mask (I like this one) and painting your nails to perfection. Those nights are sometimes necessary to keep my sanity in check.
2. You don't have to be that crazy party girl.
One of my roommates was that girl. She's crazy, loud and fun to be around.... for a second. You hang out with her at an intense party and you'll want to be her best friend. Hang out with her in our apartment and you'll want to pretend you have food poisoning to get the eff out of there. Everyone has their settings that they're more comfortable and are more of themselves in. Believe it or not, it's not always at parties. Mine is on one-on-one setting or very small groups. Some people thrive in big groups. But not me.
3. You're still your parents baby.
I live only a half hour away from my parents and always make it to their house at least once a week on sundays. But during school I would sometimes go weeks without seeing them. Which makes me sound like a baby but I don't really care. After going through some of the hardest times this past year, nothing made me feel better than crying in my mom or dad's arms like I used to do when I skid my knee on my rollerblades. Even though I'm independent on my own and can make any decision I want without even telling my parents, I would never think about keeping them out. Parents like knowing that they're still needed, don't keep that from them.
4. People are annoying. get over it.
In China, I went with a group of 20 people. We all lived in dorms on the school grounds. We spent every minute together. We ate together, we worked together, we traveled together, and we slept together. Some of them bugged the shniz out of me. But no matter what, I was stuck with them for four months. I could either make the journey unpleasant by being rude and difficult with them, or I could accept them, be kind to them and my experience would be much more pleasant. Since I had no choice but to be with them. I came to understand why they were the way they were. I became friends with them. Pretty soon I wasn't pretending to tolerate them. I could tolerate them and eventually enjoy their company.
5. You can get off your butt and go running.
6. Embrace the things you love, and don't be ashamed.
I like Katy Perry.
I like purple hair.
I like old movies.
I'm not ashamed. Why should you care if someone else doesn't like what you do? Everyone has differing opinions because everyone's different. I hate rap, but I don't make someone else feel bad that they like rap.
7. Everybody's winging it.
While talking to my uncle about what I want to do with my future, I told him about how I want to be in fashion yada yada yada. He asked why I didn't think I could do it, my only answer was that I don't have experience or really know what I'm doing. He then told me "Sydnee, everybody is winging it". That's how things are created. People think of something and just go with it and see if it works out. If you don't think you can do something and everybody is better than you, just remember everybody is winging it. You can do it too.
8. Be vulnerable.
9. Break ups are not the end of the world.
After dating a guy for nearly two years, we decided to break it off. While I was dating him, just the thought of being without him made tears well up. But when it happened, it wasn't the end of the world. Sure it definitely hit me pretty hard but I realized that there were reasons we had to, reasons we shouldn't be together and why it was good for me and for him. You need to look past your emotions and see the bigger picture, that there are soooo many others out there that could make you just as happy, if not more.
10. Take a walk. nothing clears your mind more.
when I'm sitting at home with no plans and feeling a little anxious, the first thing I do is grab my shoes, headphones and walk somewhere. Anywhere. It doesn't have to be a specific location. Just a little stroll to clear your mind while listening to some good music. My main walk is to hobby lobby just up the street from my apartment. Sure it's quite a walk but I always feel amazing afterwards and bonus, it's good exercise.
11. Go on adventures, even if you go by yourself.
12. Stop, for just a split second, and think about where you are in life.
As a busy college student, you're working hard, at your job or just thinking about what you're doing next. Stop and think, what am I doing right now? How am I doing? What do I need to work on? Those are the sudden clarity moments when I realize what I want to do, where I want to be or just how happy I am right in that second.
13. Watching full seasons of parks and recreation is cool and all but... read a book.
Read
this book in particular.
14. You can do crazy things.
15. Push away fear.
So many times I've wanted to go for an opportunity but backed out because I was scared. Scared I would fail and feel disappointment from everyone around me. The truth is, you'll regret not taking opportunities rather than doing them and failing. At work, I was offered to help the merchandising at Forever 21. I was freaked out. I never did anything like that. I was just the person who put all the clothes away. I had a heart to heart with one of my sales managers where she told me that I can do anything I put my mind to. I accepted it. I could actually do it. For sure it was definitely just as hard as I thought it was, but I pushed through it and learned so much.
16. It's okay to admit that you aren't okay.
Not everyone has it together all the time. You don't have to either. When you need to, cry. You don't have to hold it together when you don't feel like you can. Be aware though that you shouldn't be like this all the time. That's called depression. But if you're going through a rough patch, give yourself a good breakdown for a day. Sometimes it means that it's all uphill from there.
17. Ask yourself "well...... why not?" often.
18. Slow down.
Don't rush to grow up. Don't make yourself so busy that you have no time to enjoy the things you love. Don't be looking for your husband when you're 18 (if you just happen upon them, that just makes it even sweeter). I'm 21 years old and not even close to looking for my white dress. Am I sad? Not. At. All. I'm taking these times I have to myself and backpacking through forests, spending money on expensive lipsticks I don't need, for now, I just want to be a free bird. Is that wrong?
*please don't take this as, if you got married young, you got it wrong. I'm not saying that at all. Honestly, if I found the guy when I was 18, I would for sure marry him in a second. I'm just not out to look for a husband. If I happen upon him, then I'll be buying that white dress faster than I bought my prom dress before anyone even asked me.
19. Enjoy the simple things.
Like your favorite drink,
20. Put. the. phone. down.
Stop playing candy crush and look up.
21. TRAVEL.
Nothing has taught me more, made me learn more about myself and what I love than being in a completely different place. Taking yourself from everything you know that's familiar, puts your life in perspective and what you want in life. I could go on and on about this one but I think you get the picture.
I'm 21.
The age that most people would actually consider an adult (sorry to break it to you 18 year olds, you're still not an adult). I've got a pretty good idea what I'm ready for, and what I want to do for now.
I may not be right in all the lessons I just gave you but I hope I'm not completely wrong
(Also how old am I that I ask for carrot cake for my birthday cake?)
Sidenote: Look at this cute candid picture my mom took of me and my nephew.
It's probably my new favorite picture.
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