i'm a dreamer.

so what if homecoming is more than a month away?
i can still look at cute dresses.
three months prior to prom i already was looking for my dress and had my hairstyle picked out.
and i also bought my dress a month and a half before.
however, i did have a dashing date then.
and at the moment, i have nobody to swoon over.
regardless.



j. crew of course.
dream dress.
i don't mind the hefty price tag.
that's why it's called a dream (=

now that i finally have my own job i can actually buy my own dress, buy my own shoes.
i have an actual dress i want to buy. maybe i'll wait for my pay check in a week-ish.

i'm just praying for a date.
i am single gentlemen.

i wish i was this cool.

this will make your day.
for sure.

in my skin tight jeans.

i go through phases of things i obsess over.

i obsessed over audrey hepburn movies, vintage chairs, purple, my hair, and many other things.

right now.

i'm obsessed with clothes. i can't enough. i look through my catalogs, watch project runway, and organize my closet so i can make my clothes look the best in my closet.

i used to just wear my obviously baggy skinny jeans and dingy white v-necks.

i've been trying to get my "style" together after almost having a breakdown in the middle of the mall when i couldn't find one single thing that i wanted to buy.

i haven't really liked forever 21 as much lately. it's been too weird and i could never find anything. i decided to go in there anyway and maybe i'll find something. brady was pissed at me that i didn't buy anything yet and he had to be back to watch kaylee play soccer. 

i felt bad and i hauled some nice cheap jeans to the dressing rooms. one size was too big and the other size was on the tight side. screw it. i'm buying tight jeans. i'm only young once right?

and i grabbed a grey shirt. a size too big.

i found it. my style.

baggy shirt. tight jeans. so boss.

and a shirt with lace?

i don't think i've ever worn lace in. my. life.

i've finally broken out of my white t-shirts.

and i bought these shoes.

yeah.. i'm cool.

i've been wanting shoes like this foreverrrr

but i would die for a classic long trench coat.

i can't wait to wear my new blazer. it's been too hot.

i think the heat should go. now.

hhhhh

on my first day of AP biology i expected not to have any friends
i was soo ready to just study and do my homework. and possibly make small talk to the nice girl next to me.
i was just fine the second day. i was ready to go crazy on my notes. i was ready to soak in all the biology that i could. i do like biology.
however as i was pulling out my notebook especially for my detailed biology notes, i heard a familiar voice. a not welcome, gorgeous, familiar voice. the voice i longed for every second of everyday for seven months. i was scared to look up. i didn't want to make eye contact. i thought i was in the clear for all eight periods.
i began pulling out books and notebooks that i didn't need and putting them back so i wouldn't have to look up.
he finally sat down. never meeting eyes. i think the feelings were mutual between us.
i could feel the booming in my chest. and even just thinking about it brings it back.
two rows in front of me, we wouldn't meet eyes again, unless he turned around.
it made me sick that i couldn't stop staring at the back of his head.
i literally could. not. stop.
i'm not pathetic.
i'm not a creep.
okay yes i am pathetic
-sigh-

workin hard or hardly workin.

today, would be considered my first day on the job

when i first arrived at simply splendid

(beautiful store, it's on state street in lindon over by juice press and magleby's)

i loved the ladies there. there all so fun especially my aunt dana.

i have to deliver packages every monday, wednesday and friday to the MTC and sometimes local deliveries.

first of all, MTC.

i felt weird just driving up to the place where i said goodbye to my big brother nine months ago.

i couldn't find the mailroom

maryann explained it perfectly and even drew me a cute little picture and yet i found myself wandering around asking multiple missionaries where to go.

let me just say, i adore missionaries. they were all so nice to me, and smiling and opening doors for me. i don't know if they were just nice to me because i had two big boxes that said "MTC COOKIES"

i had two other tins of cookies to deliver to people who worked at UVU. but no address and no class number or building name. i had to find this old guy who, bless his heart, tried his darndest.

turns out both of the offices were off campus.

at least i get happy looks when people find out their getting cookies.

who wouldn't be happy if they were delivered cookies?

i defintely would.

diiiiiiiiiiinggg

i know it's so overrated to make a cliche school post,
you know, the usual, i hate school, i wish it would end.
blah blah blah

yeah i don't enjoy some things about school, like when i have a class with a bunch of people that are friends with each other, and none are friends with me. it does damage on my self esteem.
when miss smithson doesn't call my name, i have a little panic attack and feel relief when she told me she skipped my name.
my government and citizenship teacher is a head case. i was a teensy bit late and she gave me the dirtiest stare down. sorry that i couldn't find your room.
AP calculus just might kill me
also if one more adult asks me if i'm excited for school or excited that i'm in school, i just might flip a bi.

but..
i do love writing with my new pen, whispering with shalee in the back of the class, monsieur burnah, making friends with some cute sophomores in interior design. actually feeling like i'm doing something during the day. the millions of people i like in seminary.

OH and i sort of got a job.
i'm just making deliveries for my aunt's store to the MTC e'ry monday, wednesday and friday. so if you have something you want to send there, slip me a couple bucks and i'll take it for you.

word.

i called it.

ba-boom!

finally

i picked emily henderson from the very first episode

her new show?

it's going to be soo boss.

holler.